I don’t believe in having just one day allocated to the toughest position in the world. Motherhood. Raising little humans is one of great responsibility although extremely gratifying at the same time. Before I became a mom I really didn’t realize just how tough moms had it.
It’s been ten years since I lost my own mom. Ten years on the 21st of this month and I cannot even begin to tell you how much I miss her. There is so much more I needed to learn from her. So many things we needed to discuss. And although there are so many experiences we won’t ever have together, she left behind such a rich legacy and so many life lessons. So today I want to share those with you. I want to pay homage to the most beautiful and generous soul I have ever had the honor of knowing.
Here are some of the lessons I learnt from Ammi:
My mom was the most giving person I have ever come across. She was generous with her money, but equally generous with her time. My mom was some what of a designer and was known for her beautifully designed wedding outfits. I remember her friends would come from overseas and needed to do wedding shopping for their kids, she would donate her time and efforts without asking for anything in return. She was someone you could count on, a rock.
My mom was known as “Ameer begum saheb” rich lady in Urdu to this one helper of ours who she supported despite having moved and had to let go of. There were so many such people whom she supported and that too without anyone knowing about it. She quietly helped whomever she could. She got duped too because of her willingness to help anyone in need. People took advantage of her generosity many a times.
3.Respect for Others.
My mother never differentiated between people. The house help was given as much respect as the house guest. It’s no surprise then that she had so many people show up at her 5 am funeral. From the tailor to the dhobi (laundry man) and even the chauffeur. In fact, she was so loved and respected in the whole neighborhood that whoever heard of her passing dropped every thing to pay her their last respects. I was told by my dad that the shop keeper whom she frequently bought cloth from was so shocked and emotional that he had to excuse himself when he heard of her passing.
If there was anything I learnt from ammi it was her spirit of optimism. She never let anything get her down. Always looking at the glass half full and with unparalleled trust in God. She was a woman of faith and nothing could shake it. I remember in hard times when my dad was going through some business setbacks, she was his constant cheerleader. Always giving him hope. A firm believer that our livelihood is written by Him and nothing can change that.
My mom was a boss. I guess that’s where I get my business oriented personality from. She was always involved in some business venture or the other. She was independent and free spirited which was totally in sync with this. I remember her pottery business. She may very well have brought the incense burner to the Pakistani market. A magazine picture of Benazir Bhutto has her cute pot in the back ground incensing the rooms of the Prime Minister of Pakistan.
Above all my mom taught me to be a good wife. I remember her standing advice, “you have to give early on to be able to receive later”. She was old school in that way. She believed that a wife should be all dressed and ready to welcome her man at the end of a long day at work and although I feel like life is very different to that of back home where you have a whole support system, I do see the wisdom in her words. I won’t lie, it has helped me in the past.
So today as I pay homage to my mom, I pray that I am able to be half the mom to my boys that she was to my brother and I. I have a long ways to go but I had the best role model.
I also want to give a shout out to all the mom figures in my life. My mother in law who has taught me selflessness in sharing her son with me. My khala’s ( mom’s sisters) who are women of true strength and courage. Women who take life head on and look gracious while doing it.
What is one life lesson you have learnt from your mom? I’d love to hear!